This afternoon D left for a conference up in Seattle (he JUST arrived at his hotel, thanks to my guidance over the phone using MapQuest! Damn Seattle construction!!) SO - this means I'm a single Mom for the next several days. No problem...I can handle it!
This also means that I'm sharing my bed with M (a treat when Daddy is out of town), so chances of me waking up to find a foot stuck in my face are pretty good. Luckily tonite the dogs are all at Mom's house as the cleaner is coming in the morning. I spent some time getting the house ready for her, but quite frankly, I'm just plain exhausted and she can clean around what's still left - I'm sure she's seen much worse.
The hardest part, I think, is going to be the mornings. I rely a lot on D to get stuff done like lunches made and such. AND, we have flowers and vegies and herbs that he waters every morning when he gets up to let the dogs out - that's now my job for the next couple days. I'm sure I'm going to forget something...
I've already managed to mess up the TV - got it stuck on the Weather Channel somehow. Ran out of steam tonite to try and fix it, so may or may not give it a go tomorrow. Maybe it'll change the channel on it's own when it goes to record something...who knows. Personally I can live without TV and often do when D is out of town. I'm actually planning on using these evenings to get caught up on my paperwork for work and to get good night's sleep.
Speaking of which, I'm off to get started on that good night's sleep right now!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
VEGETABLES!!!!!
Earlier this spring we joined a CSA - I'm not sure what it stands for, possibly "Community Shared Agriculture", but basically it means that we bought a share in a friend's farm and every week we get fresh vegetables delivered to our doorstep. Pretty cool, huh?
Last week was our first delivery - we got several bags of green leafy stuff (lettuce varieties, we're guessing), some spinach, and green onions and radishes (which were promptly delivered to Mom's house as I knew she'd rinse them off and eat them for dinner. I was out of town at a presentation last week, so D and M were in charge of the delivery and what to do with it. I think they did some tasting and had a salad for dinner, but didn't rinse or anything. D thought that was the best choice - don't rinse until you're ready to eat.
Today I get home from work to find a huge pile of bags of greens on my front porch, and buried under all of them...6 farm fresh eggs! I can't wait to cook those eggs in the AM! I quickly identified the radishes and green onions (and sent them home with Mom), but the rest was a mystery. M said, "I've seen this one before", grabbed one of the bags and headed out into our backyard - sure enough, it was a sprig of Rosemary, which I also happen to have growing in my herb garden. YEAH M!!! Mom told me to rinse it all, clean it up and put it into Ziploc bags and plan on eating A LOT of salad!
I set out to identify the greens, and have to say, thanks to Google I was pretty able to do so. There were 2 bags of what I'm calling generic leaf lettuce, 1 bag of swiss chard, 1 bag of red leaf lettuce, 1 bag of butter lettuce, and 1 bag of something I couldn't identify at all. I must have looked like a Monkey doing a math problem going from the sink to the laptop, then back to the sink again trying to figure these things out. AND, I have to say, there aren't a lot of good, "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GREEN LEAFY SHIT IS THIS????" sites out there. Perhaps that will be my next career...
In the middle of the process, I got to take a moment to teach M about exactly WHY we rinse our vegetables with the discovery of a big fat caterpillar, a medium sized caterpillar, and a baby caterpillar in one of the bags of generic leaf lettuce. Of course they are all in a tupperware container waiting to go to school tomorrow for sharing now along with the 2 others I found in the red leaf lettuce after she'd gone to bed. Of course, the discovery of the caterpillars sent us down a whole new Google pathway, and again, I was NOT impressed with the info out there on identifying my caterpillar. I did stumble upon (and couldn't find again) a picture that looked just like the big guy that we decided worked and, you'll never believe what this breed of caterpillar is called??? The Lettuce Caterpillar. SERIOUSLY????? I could have made that up and saved myself a lot of time and energy!
Now comes the fun part...what do I do with all of this stuff? I've asked that next week we get post-it notes, or possibly just a Cliff Notes picture guide for the horticulturally impaired like me to help out with identification. If it were up to me, it'd all go in a salad, but I think some of it gets cooked (like the chard maybe?).
Nothing like trial by fire (or lettuce)...
OH, and did I mention that after I found the caterpillars (and one smallish spider) I have that "bugs all over me" feeling? Gotta love it!!!! Think I'll take a quick shower before bed now!
Last week was our first delivery - we got several bags of green leafy stuff (lettuce varieties, we're guessing), some spinach, and green onions and radishes (which were promptly delivered to Mom's house as I knew she'd rinse them off and eat them for dinner. I was out of town at a presentation last week, so D and M were in charge of the delivery and what to do with it. I think they did some tasting and had a salad for dinner, but didn't rinse or anything. D thought that was the best choice - don't rinse until you're ready to eat.
Today I get home from work to find a huge pile of bags of greens on my front porch, and buried under all of them...6 farm fresh eggs! I can't wait to cook those eggs in the AM! I quickly identified the radishes and green onions (and sent them home with Mom), but the rest was a mystery. M said, "I've seen this one before", grabbed one of the bags and headed out into our backyard - sure enough, it was a sprig of Rosemary, which I also happen to have growing in my herb garden. YEAH M!!! Mom told me to rinse it all, clean it up and put it into Ziploc bags and plan on eating A LOT of salad!
I set out to identify the greens, and have to say, thanks to Google I was pretty able to do so. There were 2 bags of what I'm calling generic leaf lettuce, 1 bag of swiss chard, 1 bag of red leaf lettuce, 1 bag of butter lettuce, and 1 bag of something I couldn't identify at all. I must have looked like a Monkey doing a math problem going from the sink to the laptop, then back to the sink again trying to figure these things out. AND, I have to say, there aren't a lot of good, "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GREEN LEAFY SHIT IS THIS????" sites out there. Perhaps that will be my next career...
In the middle of the process, I got to take a moment to teach M about exactly WHY we rinse our vegetables with the discovery of a big fat caterpillar, a medium sized caterpillar, and a baby caterpillar in one of the bags of generic leaf lettuce. Of course they are all in a tupperware container waiting to go to school tomorrow for sharing now along with the 2 others I found in the red leaf lettuce after she'd gone to bed. Of course, the discovery of the caterpillars sent us down a whole new Google pathway, and again, I was NOT impressed with the info out there on identifying my caterpillar. I did stumble upon (and couldn't find again) a picture that looked just like the big guy that we decided worked and, you'll never believe what this breed of caterpillar is called??? The Lettuce Caterpillar. SERIOUSLY????? I could have made that up and saved myself a lot of time and energy!
Now comes the fun part...what do I do with all of this stuff? I've asked that next week we get post-it notes, or possibly just a Cliff Notes picture guide for the horticulturally impaired like me to help out with identification. If it were up to me, it'd all go in a salad, but I think some of it gets cooked (like the chard maybe?).
Nothing like trial by fire (or lettuce)...
OH, and did I mention that after I found the caterpillars (and one smallish spider) I have that "bugs all over me" feeling? Gotta love it!!!! Think I'll take a quick shower before bed now!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
And, another mystery...
On the heels of my Honor Student "case", I'm faced with another one. Here are the facts as I know them...
At 8pm Tuesday evening, M was sent to bed - given hugs and kisses and told she could read until I came up to call "lights out". D arrived home from a meeting at 8:15pm and proceeded to go upstairs to say "Hello" and "Goodnite" to our little princess. He returned downstairs and we proceeded to finish watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 on DVR (an aside...we have NEVER watched this show before, but since M has become enthralled with it and all things "TLC", we felt compelled to watch this season premier and make sure it was still appropriate for her, what with all the tabloid rumors and allegations of cheating and such).
At approximately 10:00pm, M came downstairs and told us that she wasn't feeling well, that she felt like she was going to throw up, and had even "tried", but couldn't throw up (I didn't ask how she "tried"...some things are best left alone). We asked her a few questions, then suggested that perhaps she move from the top bunk (where she has been sleeping recently) to at least the bottom bunk. I took it one step further and made her a "floor bed" with a strategically placed bucket just in case.
When I put her to bed, I palpated her abdomen (no folks, I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV and I have NOT recently stayed in a Holiday Inn Express...BUT...I have been to enough doctor visits as a Mom to know that abdomen palpation is what is done to rule out some major stuff). She did not appear to wince or show any signs of extreme pain when I was pushing on her abdomen, although it did feel a bit firm, nothing out of the ordinary for typical gas pain and/or constipation. I told her that our first line of "attack" would be to have her lay on her side and pull her legs firmly up into her chest to "open things up" a bit. When I left, she was doing just that.
About 30 minutes later (after CSI Miami ended...on DVR, we don't watch much live anymore) I headed up to bed on the off chance that it was going to turn into a long night for us. I checked in on M and she was sound asleep - I opted against climbing over her to turn off her Radio Disney live stream on her computer, and left the fish tank light on so she had some light in there. I debated leaving her bedroom door open so she had a fast line to the bathroom, but figured we were covered with the bucket.
Shortly after climbing into bed myself, I heard her cough a little, but no follow up sounds to indicate anything other than her coughing. She has allergies and coughs frequently, especially when laying on her back, so I expect the occasional cough from her and thought nothing of this cough. Other than this *cough* *cough* *cough*, I heard nothing else and she never came into the room to tell me she'd thrown up. I debated going in for a quick investigation, but weighed the risks of waking her up against easing my mind and decided that all evidence pointed to me not going in there. Besides, my super sonic Mommy hearing was turned on by now, so no sound would escape me.
D came up to bed about an hour after I did and apparently (according to his report later today) did NOT check in on her on his way by, figuring that I had just checked on her, so why risk waking her.
Early this morning, D left for a meeting, leaving M and I in our respective beds.
I stumbled out of bed a little late and went to wake M up to get ready for school. I opened her bedroom door and looked in at her, then peeked at the bucket. Lo and behold, there was vomit in the bucket. M woke up, looked up at me and said Hi. I said, "Honey, did you throw up last night?" OK - stupid question, I know, OBVIOUSLY she did, but sometimes my brain doesn't work real well first thing in the morning. Well, her answer was, "No", then she sat up, looked in the bucket and said, "OH, maybe I did".
NOW, I'm far from an expert in the area of vomit, being blessed with a minimal occurrence of puking myself (think the last time I did was like 14 years ago when I had food poisoning). BUT, don't you usually notice? It's kind of a body shaking event.
She stayed home today since we couldn't identify the time of day of the vomit, it made it hard to invoke the 24 hour body fluid rule, so we kept her home from school. Well, that and the fact that she still felt pretty crappy, it was hard to rule it out as an isolated incident.
She eventually came around to say that she had coughed/puked at some point, then checked for a mess, didn't find one and decided she was sleepy enough to not get out of bed and come find me. Now, the question becomes, did she really, or was that her "story" since I expressed such disbelief at the phantom puke?
We have ruled out D or I puking in the bucket, and are pretty sure that neither of the dogs has that good of aim (or opposable thumbs to open the door, then reshut it behind them). M can't remember puking, so I'm wondering if we have a ghost with an upset tummy living in our house. OR, perhaps an intruder who gratefully saw the bucket, used it, then got the heck out of dodge before getting caught. I doubt that the Tooth Fairy had done a fly by and lost her lunch in my daughter's room, so I still don't know who puked in the bucket.
Perhaps our Honor Student Vandal is also a drive by puker?
Wonder what mystery tomorrow will hold for me... I think my new career should be as a Private Investigator...then again, my closed cases are minimal at present...
At 8pm Tuesday evening, M was sent to bed - given hugs and kisses and told she could read until I came up to call "lights out". D arrived home from a meeting at 8:15pm and proceeded to go upstairs to say "Hello" and "Goodnite" to our little princess. He returned downstairs and we proceeded to finish watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 on DVR (an aside...we have NEVER watched this show before, but since M has become enthralled with it and all things "TLC", we felt compelled to watch this season premier and make sure it was still appropriate for her, what with all the tabloid rumors and allegations of cheating and such).
At approximately 10:00pm, M came downstairs and told us that she wasn't feeling well, that she felt like she was going to throw up, and had even "tried", but couldn't throw up (I didn't ask how she "tried"...some things are best left alone). We asked her a few questions, then suggested that perhaps she move from the top bunk (where she has been sleeping recently) to at least the bottom bunk. I took it one step further and made her a "floor bed" with a strategically placed bucket just in case.
When I put her to bed, I palpated her abdomen (no folks, I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV and I have NOT recently stayed in a Holiday Inn Express...BUT...I have been to enough doctor visits as a Mom to know that abdomen palpation is what is done to rule out some major stuff). She did not appear to wince or show any signs of extreme pain when I was pushing on her abdomen, although it did feel a bit firm, nothing out of the ordinary for typical gas pain and/or constipation. I told her that our first line of "attack" would be to have her lay on her side and pull her legs firmly up into her chest to "open things up" a bit. When I left, she was doing just that.
About 30 minutes later (after CSI Miami ended...on DVR, we don't watch much live anymore) I headed up to bed on the off chance that it was going to turn into a long night for us. I checked in on M and she was sound asleep - I opted against climbing over her to turn off her Radio Disney live stream on her computer, and left the fish tank light on so she had some light in there. I debated leaving her bedroom door open so she had a fast line to the bathroom, but figured we were covered with the bucket.
Shortly after climbing into bed myself, I heard her cough a little, but no follow up sounds to indicate anything other than her coughing. She has allergies and coughs frequently, especially when laying on her back, so I expect the occasional cough from her and thought nothing of this cough. Other than this *cough* *cough* *cough*, I heard nothing else and she never came into the room to tell me she'd thrown up. I debated going in for a quick investigation, but weighed the risks of waking her up against easing my mind and decided that all evidence pointed to me not going in there. Besides, my super sonic Mommy hearing was turned on by now, so no sound would escape me.
D came up to bed about an hour after I did and apparently (according to his report later today) did NOT check in on her on his way by, figuring that I had just checked on her, so why risk waking her.
Early this morning, D left for a meeting, leaving M and I in our respective beds.
I stumbled out of bed a little late and went to wake M up to get ready for school. I opened her bedroom door and looked in at her, then peeked at the bucket. Lo and behold, there was vomit in the bucket. M woke up, looked up at me and said Hi. I said, "Honey, did you throw up last night?" OK - stupid question, I know, OBVIOUSLY she did, but sometimes my brain doesn't work real well first thing in the morning. Well, her answer was, "No", then she sat up, looked in the bucket and said, "OH, maybe I did".
NOW, I'm far from an expert in the area of vomit, being blessed with a minimal occurrence of puking myself (think the last time I did was like 14 years ago when I had food poisoning). BUT, don't you usually notice? It's kind of a body shaking event.
She stayed home today since we couldn't identify the time of day of the vomit, it made it hard to invoke the 24 hour body fluid rule, so we kept her home from school. Well, that and the fact that she still felt pretty crappy, it was hard to rule it out as an isolated incident.
She eventually came around to say that she had coughed/puked at some point, then checked for a mess, didn't find one and decided she was sleepy enough to not get out of bed and come find me. Now, the question becomes, did she really, or was that her "story" since I expressed such disbelief at the phantom puke?
We have ruled out D or I puking in the bucket, and are pretty sure that neither of the dogs has that good of aim (or opposable thumbs to open the door, then reshut it behind them). M can't remember puking, so I'm wondering if we have a ghost with an upset tummy living in our house. OR, perhaps an intruder who gratefully saw the bucket, used it, then got the heck out of dodge before getting caught. I doubt that the Tooth Fairy had done a fly by and lost her lunch in my daughter's room, so I still don't know who puked in the bucket.
Perhaps our Honor Student Vandal is also a drive by puker?
Wonder what mystery tomorrow will hold for me... I think my new career should be as a Private Investigator...then again, my closed cases are minimal at present...
When Smart Kids Go Bad
SO - yesterday I used the restroom at the Beaverton Town Center Fred Meyer (why the location matters, I have no idea). The store is undergoing a remodel, so "excuse our dust" is a little of an understatement...more like "excuse our post-apocolyptic mess". ANYWAY, I go into the stall, hang up my purse and prepare to sit down when I notice...
Just in case that's not really clear to the eye...
Yes, that's a Calculus equation/formula written on the TP holder. I've seen many different forms of graffiti, but have to say, this is a first!
Just in case that's not really clear to the eye...
Yes, that's a Calculus equation/formula written on the TP holder. I've seen many different forms of graffiti, but have to say, this is a first!
Of course, I have to ask myself, who would do this? I work with the delinquent sort of students, so have a little insight into their minds. BUT, my typical student wouldn't know a limit if it smacked him upside the head. Must be looking at a different sort of vandalizer...one who uses pencil...
Perhaps an Honor Student is being "hazed" into the local chess club?
Maybe this is a geek who had enough of being called "teacher's pet" and decided to "show them" by doing something bad like graffiti...
Local school scavenger hunt with a truth or dare twist?
Could be that with budget cuts, the Beaverton School District is housing classes in the local Fred Meyer break room and this student decided to cheat by writing a formula in the bathroom, then excusing herself (assuming our perp is a female as it is the women's restroom, but perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to assume such thing...I mean, we all know what "assume" means...) to the restroom to view the formula.
Or - with all the construction going on, maybe a construction worker was trying to figure out a complex construction problem while sitting on the potty. Although I'm the first to admit my Calculus experience is limited (ha! a bit punny!), I can't imagine a use for limits in Fred Meyer remodeling, but I could be wrong.
SO - this will remain a mystery...shall I contact the Beaverton PD with my theories? I couldn't imagine trying to collect DNA from that location though...(all together now...EWWW!).
Friday, May 22, 2009
Reflections
The past several years, pretty much since I left the classroom when M was born, I have been doing a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and a little bit of something else to "Frankenstein" myself a job. I have tutored, I have subbed, I have built and ran the Incarcerated Youth program at our local jail, and I have done what my boss has asked me to do, when he has asked me to do it.
This year, everything changed...my boss was new at the beginning of last year so spent it learning the ropes of the job, then last Spring decided that he wanted to utilize my skills in a different manner this year. SO - I started back up in the IEP business! I have been case managing several students who are considered "outside placements" because they attend schools outside the physical boundaries of our district, but are still students of our district. I work students in 2 charter schools, 1 private school, and 1 public school within our county. The level of service needed at each of these sites varies greatly. I attend annual meetings only at one site, I actually go in and provide daily service at another, and a little of everything in between.
Making the change over to this level has been very difficult for many reasons. I have had almost full control of my schedule for years, able to take time to drive kids to swimming or take a day off here and there to hang out with the kiddo. This year, not so much. Because I provide DAILY services, I have to be at these sites DAILY. I know that this is something that almost all of the work force does on a regular basis, but it's just hard to get back into that mode after almost 9 years of full flexibility. BUT, I did OK.
In addition, many of the students with whom I work are placed, by parents, in these outside placements because the parents are unhappy with the school district. In I walk, a smiling face representing said hated school district. I have had some success stories, and some not so successful stories this year. There are just some people in this world who are not going to be happy no matter what - and I get to teach all of their children!
All in all, this has been a VERY TOUGH year for me, but I have really enjoyed being back in the loop in so many ways. I have had colleagues whom I see daily. I have been to trainings on stuff I love to do. I have made acquaintances and connections that I will carry with me beyond this year. AND, of course, I have gotten to keep working with kids whom I adore.
Well, this week I was informed that not only was my 1 year contract running out next month (I knew this), but that my position as it currently stands is most likely being eliminated thanks to budget cuts. I wasn't that shocked, but I was hoping for an assurance of "we'll find a way to use you next year", which I didn't get. No hard feelings, I know that my boss' hands are tied by the superintendant, who's hands are tied by the budget. AND, I totally understand their position...it doesn't make sense to continue contracting out with me at my Masters +45 credits w/10 years experience on the pay scale when they can get someone falling a little lower on the payscale.
Did I get hit hard by this, though? Hell yeah! I'm not going to lie, there were tears...a lot of them, I'm somewhat ashamed to say. Perhaps this had something to do with me having just gotten out of a meeting the night before that didn't go great and I was still feeling defeated by that (see above about parents who aren't happy no matter what), or perhaps it would have hit me hard no matter what, but it did.
Then I started thinking...this could be a good thing for me. My options are wide open for next school year. AND, I'm proud to say that in the past 2 days I've already gotten several leads on opportunities for next year. I've made some real great connections with the schools where I've worked this year and I think that all will be OK in the long run.
Now, I just need to convince D of this...he sees it from the family budget point of view - don't blame him, numbers and dollar signs are kind of his job. BUT, I'll keep trying to tell him that it will all work out in the long run. I have a plan and a back-up plan to fill in the $$$ gaps when I don't hit my monthly requirement to keep the family running smoothly.
I'm definately trying to make lemonade out of these lemons, and looking at it with a positive attitude. The way I figure, feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help, nor is worrying myself sick over it. All that will do is put added stress on my family, which I would never want to do.
SO - I'm in the process of winding down this school year, getting ready to turn in all of my district supplies (laptop, portable printer, test kits, files, etc.) and then I get to figure out what to do with my amazingly clean desk! I have a few ideas - I can make it my card making station (did I mention I have gotten into card making recently?) - I can...well, I haven't thought of that many ideas, I guess!
BUT - it's all good...M has been feeling the sting of my working so much in many ways - lack of time with her, bad moods after rough days, etc. Sure, I know that many kids live very successful lives when their parents work full-time - much more than I was working - BUT M has never known anything other than me being there for her whenever she needed me. This has taken it's toll on her as well this year. I haven't told her about any of this yet - we decided to hold off until her school year is up so it doesn't distract her (she inherited a bit of her father's worry gene).
SO - I look to the past year with no regrets, fond memories, and some stinging pain, but I look to the future with an open mind, optimism, hope, and genuine excitement to find all that it has to offer for me. Whatever the end result, I just know it will be good.
This year, everything changed...my boss was new at the beginning of last year so spent it learning the ropes of the job, then last Spring decided that he wanted to utilize my skills in a different manner this year. SO - I started back up in the IEP business! I have been case managing several students who are considered "outside placements" because they attend schools outside the physical boundaries of our district, but are still students of our district. I work students in 2 charter schools, 1 private school, and 1 public school within our county. The level of service needed at each of these sites varies greatly. I attend annual meetings only at one site, I actually go in and provide daily service at another, and a little of everything in between.
Making the change over to this level has been very difficult for many reasons. I have had almost full control of my schedule for years, able to take time to drive kids to swimming or take a day off here and there to hang out with the kiddo. This year, not so much. Because I provide DAILY services, I have to be at these sites DAILY. I know that this is something that almost all of the work force does on a regular basis, but it's just hard to get back into that mode after almost 9 years of full flexibility. BUT, I did OK.
In addition, many of the students with whom I work are placed, by parents, in these outside placements because the parents are unhappy with the school district. In I walk, a smiling face representing said hated school district. I have had some success stories, and some not so successful stories this year. There are just some people in this world who are not going to be happy no matter what - and I get to teach all of their children!
All in all, this has been a VERY TOUGH year for me, but I have really enjoyed being back in the loop in so many ways. I have had colleagues whom I see daily. I have been to trainings on stuff I love to do. I have made acquaintances and connections that I will carry with me beyond this year. AND, of course, I have gotten to keep working with kids whom I adore.
Well, this week I was informed that not only was my 1 year contract running out next month (I knew this), but that my position as it currently stands is most likely being eliminated thanks to budget cuts. I wasn't that shocked, but I was hoping for an assurance of "we'll find a way to use you next year", which I didn't get. No hard feelings, I know that my boss' hands are tied by the superintendant, who's hands are tied by the budget. AND, I totally understand their position...it doesn't make sense to continue contracting out with me at my Masters +45 credits w/10 years experience on the pay scale when they can get someone falling a little lower on the payscale.
Did I get hit hard by this, though? Hell yeah! I'm not going to lie, there were tears...a lot of them, I'm somewhat ashamed to say. Perhaps this had something to do with me having just gotten out of a meeting the night before that didn't go great and I was still feeling defeated by that (see above about parents who aren't happy no matter what), or perhaps it would have hit me hard no matter what, but it did.
Then I started thinking...this could be a good thing for me. My options are wide open for next school year. AND, I'm proud to say that in the past 2 days I've already gotten several leads on opportunities for next year. I've made some real great connections with the schools where I've worked this year and I think that all will be OK in the long run.
Now, I just need to convince D of this...he sees it from the family budget point of view - don't blame him, numbers and dollar signs are kind of his job. BUT, I'll keep trying to tell him that it will all work out in the long run. I have a plan and a back-up plan to fill in the $$$ gaps when I don't hit my monthly requirement to keep the family running smoothly.
I'm definately trying to make lemonade out of these lemons, and looking at it with a positive attitude. The way I figure, feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help, nor is worrying myself sick over it. All that will do is put added stress on my family, which I would never want to do.
SO - I'm in the process of winding down this school year, getting ready to turn in all of my district supplies (laptop, portable printer, test kits, files, etc.) and then I get to figure out what to do with my amazingly clean desk! I have a few ideas - I can make it my card making station (did I mention I have gotten into card making recently?) - I can...well, I haven't thought of that many ideas, I guess!
BUT - it's all good...M has been feeling the sting of my working so much in many ways - lack of time with her, bad moods after rough days, etc. Sure, I know that many kids live very successful lives when their parents work full-time - much more than I was working - BUT M has never known anything other than me being there for her whenever she needed me. This has taken it's toll on her as well this year. I haven't told her about any of this yet - we decided to hold off until her school year is up so it doesn't distract her (she inherited a bit of her father's worry gene).
SO - I look to the past year with no regrets, fond memories, and some stinging pain, but I look to the future with an open mind, optimism, hope, and genuine excitement to find all that it has to offer for me. Whatever the end result, I just know it will be good.
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